You all hear me talk about implant-grade body jewellery, and how not all pieces of jewellery are made equally. I also talk a lot about surface finish and mirror polish (and sometimes my portfolio photos have me or my camera reflected in the jewellery!).
However, it can be really difficult at first glance to see the difference between a $2 piece of jewellery or a $100 one, and that can be confusing!
Here is a fabulous example showing the difference between high polish, implant grade body jewellery and the lower quality pieces of jewellery.
Photo credit to Ashley Misako and Rob Hill, and, of course, to the Association of Professional Piercers !
the next person who tells me i’m a snob about jewelry in a condescending way, i swear i’m gonna pop ‘em upside the head.
Me when Tamsin kissed Dyson…
My friend Linn wrote this and I think it’s beautiful!
Androgyny. If someone asked you what this word means, what would your response be? Don’t worry if you feel stumped. Most people do not know what the real meaning of androgyny is. Did you know that there were originally three sexes? Probably not, being that we as a society are made to think and live inside tiny boxes that keep us from information that will destroy the views of a nuclear family. Though the world is slowly shifting, the reality is that we still live based on what organized religions have created and the restrictions our government has generously provided, based on these creations.
So, a third sex you ask? Yes, in many countries androgyny is considered a third sex. In fact, many other societies consider androgyny a “god-like” quality. That’s right, before going into what androgyny is, I want you to know that in many cultures, it is viewed as a blessing. With simple eyes, we can clearly see that there are two obvious sexes. We have the male-male, which descended from the sun and the female-female who came from the earth. What we do not hear about it the third sex, androgyny, the male-female which came from the moon. This gender is truly divine. It is one know for it’s balance of masculine and feminine energy.
First and foremost, androgyny is not about our physical bodies and it is not about the style that we wear. This is a typical misconception which is why I am writing this. It is so much more than appearance. Androgyny is more within our bodies, than what appears on the outside. It can encompass a female body, or a male body just the same. If I had to summarize it in one sentence to give a simple understanding, I would say, ” Androgyny is a third sex that has a mental gender that is equally feminine and masculine”.
That’s right, I said a mental gender. I say this because our mind and soul does not always match what our bodies physically indicate. This does not mean we hate our bodies and want to change it. It means that we play with our mental capacity to feel comfortable day to day with where our mind is setting. If I lost you with that sentence, please stay tuned, as I will explain.
Androgyny and transgender are extremely different. We have started hearing more about transgender folk and their truth which is also beautiful. Transgender people feel as though they were born into the wrong body, whereas androgynous people are born with both female and male wiring (neurological, not to be mistaken for plumbing) in either body and can feel completely comfortable in whatever they are given. Please know, it is not easy to find that comfort. It takes a lot of self work and dedication. To give you a better understanding of what it takes to find the comfort within this gender, I will give you personal experiences that I had to go through to understand what it means to be a third sex.
Specifically in this society, we are made to believe, you are either male, or female. Even if you choose to transition, you are still becoming a male, or a female. Plain and simple. On our birth certificates, there are two genders to choose from. Can you guess? Yup, you got it. Male, or female. I bet you didn’t know that in other countries there is a third sex category. Now, on the flip side, that is based more on physical traits but at least they acknowledge it.
Imagine a small child growing up in America not understanding her/his body. All they know is what they are taught. “You are a boy, you like girls”. Or, ” You are a girl, you like boys”. It is what’s normal, so it is what we grow to believe, never questioning our parents, and not once challenging society. I mean really, who is going to listen to a kid when they speak of something that is brushed aside so often?
As a child, I was very confused with my body. I did not feel settled with what I was given. When I was about 4 or 5, I remember trying to pee standing up with a turkey baster and my sister walked in on me. I was honestly a little jaded by the experience because I knew I was doing something different. When I around the age of 12, and started going through puberty, I would hit my chest as hard as I possibly could thinking it would prevent me from growing breast. I did this for several months until I realized it was not working. I would beg and beg the universe to let me go through life without a period. I talked assuredly as though I could be a rare case in which I never got one. Then when it came, I hid it for months from my mom. I did not want her to know that I started. I was embarrassed and sad. My mom did not find out until the nurse from my school called to ask why I was not being sent to school with proper care products.
I bet you’re thinking it sounds like a case of “being born in the wrong body”? I would understand that view most definitely. I thought that was the case too, because of the social stigma of being EITHER a boy or girl. I was under the impression that if I grew into a woman, I would not be able to live out my masculine qualities. If that was going to be the case, then yes, I would have chosen to be a boy right then and there.
More events such as these continued until I realized I was a lesbian. This definitely helped postpone finding out the real understanding of myself for several years. I came out when I was a sophomore in high school, pretty soon after my mom died. Needless to say, I dressed in baggy clothes, I shaved my head, and made myself as butch as possible. I thought this was going to solve everything. However, it did not. I was still very uncomfortable with myself because now I very much felt like a woman, and looked like a boy and that was confusing to go through especially right after my mom died. My high school history is not one for the faint of heart. I fought with the “angel and devil on shoulder syndrome” for many years.
My junior year I met a beautiful girl. She had long dark hair, big brown eyes, petite, beautiful smile, and all of the guys fell at her feet. She had never been with anyone, but decided to be with me. We were together for four years and to this day, I still think about how amazing of a person she was, and the things she put up with because of my insecurities. Androgyny brings a large pool of uncertainties and insecurities because we do not fit in a social box. We are not seen and heard, so we try to shove ourselves in one that makes the most sense. It takes a lot for any one person to work on themselves and to be a better person, so for someone working through gender/sexuality confusion, it takes a really focused person to grow from within. While you can go and figure out why you do certain things based on how your parents treated you, or try to figure out why you are not happy at work, there is still a physical/mental uncertainty that most people are not willing to talk about when they are dealing with their gender. When you do not understand your body, you do not understand life. Our body is our souls transportation and we all want to feel as connected to it as possible.
It was at the age of 20 when I discovered yoga. The practice that changed my life and helped me find myself. Yoga helped connect me to my source and find my truth. I have always known I was a healer, but I never allowed myself to dive into it, because I was so caught up on my gender “problems”. From this practice, I began to realize that in order to understand myself, I really needed to do internal work and allow myself to acknowledge my body,soul, and mind, not just one or the other. Spirituality at this point made me realize it was the only way to connect to myself. It put me on a path of not only self discovery, but also the study of human sexuality. This is when I started learning about the different varieties of sexes, and love. How beautiful this learning experience was. It opened me to a whole new world.
After years of growth, I can now sit here and explain to you in depth what it really means to be a third sex. I am comfortable in my body, in fact I love my body, it is beautiful. I am comfortable with my thoughts and feelings. I am genderless in many areas of my life. Most spiritualist I know, typically do not judge love based on gender, but instead on a persons heart. This means more to me than you could ever know because I am literally a third gender. I am absolutely happy with my feminine qualities just as much I am with my masculine qualities. I clearly dress in what ever makes me comfortable, I walk with pride and I know I am an amazing person. That is what matters.
For anyone who knows my relationship history, you know that I typically dated women who were not classified by a definition (straight/gay) but were ultimately feminine. I do believe that we try to find the opposite energy with in each other, which is why most people go for the opposite sex naturally. Besides the biological bodily reactors, we tend to be attracted to our opposite energy. We want a more masculine person if we are more feminine and vise versa. Well as a third sex and being completely balanced in energy, who do we attract? We attract people from all over the spectrum. Guys, girls, gay,straight, trans, and any other combo. There is a natural attraction to androgyny because it encompasses everything a person can want. No I am not trying to sound narcissistic (though I am happy to love myself anyways), I am just being honest. There is a balanced energy that people can literally feel. From this I learned that I too need to find that energy that fits mine. It took me a while to figure this out. I am definitely feminine, but I am also masculine, so what is my opposite?
Well, I tend to feel that I exude more masculine vibes because I am a naturally dominating person, so I have always attracted feminine women, which is great. Don’t get me wrong, I love everything about women. However, something was not working for me. The ultra feminine women (an actual term relating to varieties of sexes) were beautiful for me emotionally, but when it came down to action, I felt as though there was a missing link. I realized that I too need that true balance. Which for me means both masculine/feminine. A feminine woman with a masculine side. Why? Because I choose to be with someone who can keep up with me in many aspects of life. When I go climbing, hiking, running, or any other sport, it is nice to have someone capable of doing it with me. It is definitely not a necessity, but something we all would love to have. People search for that balanced person so often, turns out they may simply just be looking at the gender from the outside and missing the real picture. Our twin flame (our true other half) can be in found in any body it chooses. We just often choose to look with closed eyes and in specific genders.
Androgynous people are actually psychologically wired as though it was a male and female combined. Our hypothalamus for example, is literally between that of a woman and a man. It is wider that the average man, but slightly smaller than the average woman. This gives us the ability to still have a strong emotional connection, ability to communicate, and other quailties that comes from women living on one side of the brain, and being able to formulate numbers and perform certain tasks that men are typically good at (eye hand coordination) from living on the opposite side of the brain. Women use a large part of their brain, while men only use a certain side for most solutions. So as a third sex, we tend to use all of the typical portions that women use as well as men. For example, I took the test and I use both of my right and left brain equally. My results were 47/53. Pretty fascinating when you are living in it.
Now, back to my statement of playing with mental capacity. Sexually I am able to mentally go anywhere I want. Some days I feel more masculine and I choose to act on those feelings in ways that feel right. There are other times when I feel more feminine and I will acknowledge it, and feel my body as it is. When I listen to myself, I know what my body is feeling and it is okay to play out whatever feels right in that moment, so long as I have a partner that I am connected to on all levels. I have two very different kinds of orgasms depending on where my mind is. As a third sex, I can literally feel both masculine and feminine sexual energies within my body. Our testosterone and estrogen levels are very balanced if we take care of our bodies. If we neglect to take care of ourselves however, the levels can shift to too much testosterone or too much estrogen depending on the person. This is something that I am completely comfortable with sharing if friends ask. It’s beautiful and I feel so blessed to have such meaningful different experiences based on where my balance is at any given moment.
So, Androgyny. The third sex you didn’t know existed. It is not scary and dark as portrayed here in America. It is beautiful, balanced, loving, and it is energetically projected as such. We do have different brain functions, wiring, thoughts, emotions, and physically we challenge the norm of not being masculine nor feminine but instead, being both. We are simply genderless. We are balance.